Posts Tagged ‘Denial’

Here and there worlds’, unfortunately domestic public too, still follow up on events about Karadzic arrest. As if the trial and its preparations were of no importance, while in fact they are the main thing, the reason for the capture, the reason for Karadzic’s transport to Holland… what is wrong with us?

Opportunism – to in one way or another be part of an event of global importance. An event, I said, not process. That’s the catch. Process is by its nature long, often painful, sometimes boring, gets stuk or obstructed every once in a while – especially processes of trials taking place in the Hague tribunal for war crimes in ex Yugoslavia. So uneasy to follow up, to watch, to be interested, when there is others – media – to filter events from the processes, like outstanding pieces of behaviour of the prosecuted, full of shameless words, insults and challenges (as if Seselj’s or other prosecuted challenges are to be met!). Yes, media work of some kind of filter, for people to choose attractions and avoid processes. That I find stupid, arrogant, superficial – opportunistic. That is the reason people over here are still in denial of their own country’s past! They are just lazy! But, hey, When Seselj starts a hunger strike, everybody gets interested! For it’s a piece of news, trivial event.

These lines I write because for two days I haven’t heard anyone in my surrounding mention another word about Karadzic. And my surrounding is mainly people voting democrats, LDP even more of them… I do not mingle much among the Radicals! Like our responsibility as citizens has ended there. No more to be done. Just the lament of Radicals remain, their threats and curses, sure. But for me, that doesn’t represent any potential of sane politics, just retrograde hardly human reacting. Again, I repeat, I do not intend to report on the news. I want to know what people I live among think, how they act, where their limits are. And this is one of the conclusions I come to: arrest is over, Karadzic in the Hague, end of story for democratic electoral body.

How sad! I live in a monster state. To be a bitch I am already called, I will add in the fact that during over 10 years of my political, peace, feminist activism, I have met more women activists trying to grab personal achievements, then making efforts to influence this scarade society and make it more civic, free, better! I have seen organizations filling in application forms for big Funds to fit into those Funds agendas, and not to meet the needs of our society! So this text applies to almost everyone around me, really to my society. We pull down the curtains when the performance is done. We care not a bit for becoming part of the proccesses, thus for learning more and making a difference. The difference that can only be achieved by participating, not only observing spectacular bits and pieces.

I said it before, we accept new trends set by events. How sick is that? Media can give us a trial proccess on a silver plate, we will ignore it, for it has no attractions, it is boring. So we stand in one place, waiting for foreign investments and better future in EU. While neither authorities, not citizens do the proper job to deserve that future. And guess what? If I speak out, I am kindly ask not to prejudge, to keep quite, because I might irritate others.

I am not meaning to say that we all have to watch every trial, but to be informed on historical facts once for good. To then act in our professional fields, so that those facts enter our reality on all levels. Instead of nurturing young generations born after wars, which have never seen an Albanian, but hate them all.

And I am not afraid of being attacked, I was many times, on many places and occasions. Only my victimization is none of anybody’s business, I in fact do not feel like a victim at all! I do not have a blog in Serbian because it wouldn’t make a difference. this way, I globaly look for people whi think more deeply over certain issues, and i stand better chances to find them. I am still a bad blogger, I know how to go and see pages of certain people who read me, but I still do not know how to put them on myy blog roll:) i am getting more literate, for now I ask Sarah to help me out with that. I believe that different points of stand that each person holds can give interesting interaction. So I blog in a global language:)

This is not a complaint. It is my observation, that does make me angry. This “mind your own business” never defined what my business is! And it has been said long ago that politics is to important to be left to — only (fill in the blank). As it has been said that personal is political. So I bring in nothing new. I only warry, and for a good reason. I say, I haven’t heard Karadzic’s name in two days from any of the citizens I met or talked on the phone to in this country. Curtains are down, until next spectacle, event, party, protest, or other outstanding attractions.

I shell go to my poetry now, and post the photos later.

I was thinking about why my blog is not in Serbian. And I know it. I would only provoke more attacks on me, and still change nothing. So I have my art. A good way to spread a message. Hard as it is, since I keep mainly self-producing, it remains my only chance to make any influence, to make one mind think things over… small steps, I am taking small steps. Just like I did in my active days in Women in Black, before they became a big brand with big, massive projects. Before my 100 deeds became less important then one single failure – like one thing i had no time nor strength to accomplish. Before even the civic sector became, in all its parts, an industry. I felt the idea is getting lost on the way, and stepped away.

what a lonely feeling!


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