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Archive for November, 2008

memory on next radio show

Sarah was right,

my radio show on NOVI RADIO BEOGRAD called Stigma, with the topic of memory/individual&collective/, will be on next sunday. Yesterday we moved the station into a new and nicer place, in my street actually:) or almost. Everybody was tired, and only music was played. But we go on, and memories will be more numerous until nex sunday. I am still welcoming your comments, answers to the previously posted questions on memory.

I am gratefull, Owen, and Sarah!

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online

saturday, one day before my next radio show.

topic: memory.

I took this photo and saved it to my memory. strange, the 2 girls do not remember it...

I took this photo and saved it to my memory. strange, the 2 girls do not remember it...

very broad, i know. but i will surely lead it in my own unexpected way to Sarah’s and mine favorite: collective memory.

Will there be more or less people listenin to it, comparing to a week ago?

if you wish, answer within 28 or 29 hours, even 30, following questions, or some, or one of them:

1. is history part of our memory /distant and recent history/?

2. if yess, how does history become our memory?

3. can individual memory be emotionaly manipulated?

4. who or what creates collective memory?

5. what is the key to the successfull emotional manipulation over collective memory?

6. what is your memory you would like to share in my show?

7. name one event that caused mess in collective memory.

they kindly asked to be.

these 2 men, though, remember well they got photographeed: they kindly asked to be.

If you give me any answers, i will read them out and translate them in  my radio show.

i know it’s at the last moment, but come on, Sarah, Owen, Daniel, Kirk, all of us who care about memory!

I will dare reading one of my poems in english during the show. That one I never posted here. It is in a way about personal memory… and in english. It is called: rock hip hops!

Photoes by: Jelena Markovic

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TV NEWS

Summer has left Belgrade. It is cold. Days are short, as Sun has decided not to look at us for too long, but to dive sooner then excpected  behind tall buildings across Danube&Sava confluence, setting down at around 16h already. From my point of view, from east. We then remain in darkness/what a painfully simbolic image/ in the Capital that juggles with political parties, always pulling out of the blue new and surprizing aliences on all levels of authoritiy. We have over here so many parties, that at least a couple of them one always forgets about. Right then, the forgotten get on the TV news as reliable partners to the democrats. I overheard tonight, it was Nikolic joining Tadic.  But hey, only localy, somewhere far in this big and blessed country of ours, not that it could affect the already blury picture of who stands for which values. Such aliences only prove that united we stand more then ever, as they litterarely put it in the news, in defense of our State´s integrity. At the same time, we have never been closer to the EU, and never have we cooperated so efficiently with the Tribunal in The Hague.

Overall, a total climax of all big political prospects. After tonight´s news, if only i didn´t live here and know better, i would be happy that everything is so perfect. I would wander who ever made a fuss about not capturing war criminals and delivering them, when Serbian government works that issue so smoothely and willingly. As for approaching EU by getting Serb citizens on the white Schengen list in 2009, Serb officials claim it so convinsingly, that one wouldn´t dare doubting the news came as an original apendix to Schengen Agreement, overseen by administrative mistake, for all these years.

As I said in another post, we still keep getting informed that world economic crizes doesn´t even reflect on Serbia. We are fine, according to the economic experts.

Inflation of Dinar has become a routine speakers´ line, somewhere close to the end of news program, and sounds like “have a good evening”, or something spectators would feel awkward without. Really, speakers do a fabulous job: by telling you you have less money in your wallet then you did before the news, they make you feel warm inside.

The rest depends on the chanel you watch: on city chanel Studio B, you get to see a bunch of little children singing in false tone that some people have Paris, some London, or Praha, but nobody has Belgrade. Then they scream that is exactly why they like it! I put some effort to dig it, and after many times I heard it and saw the video, i´ve concluded that adults simply take children for morons. Better yet, they teach the kids not to understand the meaning of lyrics or anything else; because kids will be better off stumbling through life and comunication, and leaving all sense to the elderly/who prepare to live and rule forever, unbothered by the young/.

Truth is, I am absolutely sure this is the case, since I got to see and hear the editor in chief talking about that particular song and video. He had a sneaky, sly smile on his fat face, he gave clear signs that there was something going on that children shouldn´t know, and that was: the song sucks! children look ugly instead of sweet! – as he was going on about how proud studio B was to have that video on Belgrade and song by the promissing generation. the man was brutaly moquing the children. Given the fact that he him self started in journalism on that same station when it only had radio, that he was young when he got to be one of the first Studio B TV journalists /he used to host a show called “From gossip to truth”, very early 90ies/ but got fired with the rest of the Studio B core – some things are coming into light… He was building something – image of free journalism – in that place, and he got expelled, lost everything.  Then, along with the rest of the evicted core, he started looking for support from abroad for small private or local independent media or production groups… the core grew strong and networked a lot. When changes came, or so we thought, in 2000, he switched several important positions in TV business… always as head of something. Recently, he got back to his initial TV Studio B. As a big shot. No ideals anymore, and operating smoothly, as a diplomate. i hear him say things like: “Studio B has always been a free place for free journalism, it never changed during all its years of existance, and today still is a symbol of freedom”. How could i trust him? Even on weather forcast, after all that he has pulled through? By claiming that Studio B was not exposed to changes, he actually claims that he was changing with it, and that to him, any policy of the TV stationis equally adequate! That is how i know he came back to stay. Not literarely on Studio B, but in power over media. Surely, such person has no genuine desire to see or encourage any successor of his. Such man has suffered his way to the top, and stands on it looking down on others, encouraging them to be dull, so that him self appears outstanding. And that is a famous Serbian recepy for success: make sure others are doing bad, and no efort to buld up your good qualities.

On the national, RTS, they show another video after last edition of news: fields of ray and other landscapes, were strong young women and men in national clothing, with red chicks and proud smiles, appear holding hands, and dance folk traditional “kolo”. Serbian flag with a monstruous eagle with 2 heads and white clouds are changing above “kolo” on the blue sky. Fields are rich, also worked out misteriously, with no workers and no effort. The folk resembling tune is supported with a whole philcharmonic orchestra, which i asume implies that God is taking care of everything, so everything is in fact simple, clear, wealth all around… Like aproval to the piece of news that all the world is suffering economic crizes, but not Serbia.

That is what I saw and heard before i went to bed. I swithc from city to national chanels, just out of curiosity, to compare, so i watch both. It seams nobody is giving me any reason to warry, and i can rest still. I hope you can too. Because no TV news would actually bother to inform us on the news. What they really do, they serve us attitudes for starter and optimistic-idiotic conclusions for dinner. No info, just simple plane ideas. No events, but opinions already shaped for us, so that we do not engage into thinking. Should be called TV THOUGHTS, instead.

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they called me from the radio, to come in earlier and start at 9h tonight, local time. Now, as sundays i work with kids from 7, i have to ask them to come in tomorow. i think it is fine, for instead of 2 times a week, i work with them almost every day, wheever they call me. i will make it up to them, i promis. because i care for all things i do, and they also respect that i come in as they call me.

if anyone was going to try to catch me on radio, it is one hour earlier.

eventhough internet radio show, i like to imagine arials...

eventhough internet radio show, i like to imagine arials...

show called STIGMA, topic: free time!

Photo by: Jelena Markovic

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crizes

National front really messed up many minds, with this “Kosovo je Srbija” phrase.

cigarette is cigarette, unless serbian orthodox church calls it else

cigarette is cigarette, unless serbian orthodox church calls it else

i tryed to keep my comments away, for i just repeat myself over and over, for a decade now: “Kosova je Kosova”.

the proper view to see the temple...

the proper view to see the temple...

So i live in a country where that one shameful idea put up in a simple stupid phrase really drives people insane… those who used to be acceptably civilized, even though not confronted with passed yet, turned mad, carried away too much by shaking hands with scum who made their way back to power, to government, to positions of decision making.

special court - the only institution in serbia i put trust in

special court - the only institution in serbia i put trust in

when i wrote my post called Address, the next day all news on all TV channels in Serbia were showing Tadic and Dacic shaking hands over a public open agreement that their two parties have left the disputes behind and are going to be official friends and alliances from now on, due to the imperative of the national interest, or national front. i was sad to say: i knew it, it was so obvious, i even wrote about how same they have all got to be…

i had a  photo of serbian government, it lookd just like this one, just ministers were not inside the fridge

i had a photo of serbian government, it lookd just like this one, just ministers were not inside the fridge

In a text “about me” and some others, i wrote why i lost trust in forms of organized political action in courageous political, peace and feminist NGOs. So i remain a lonesome shooter, or something like that. That fact given, I have to give my opinion on efect of world ongoing economic crizes on my society. Domestic experts and media inform us that it will not touch us. Some are more brave and ready to face reality, claiming that in some time, next year, we will get to taste it a bit. But generally, as rich developed countries are drowning in economic problems, crizes and threats of powerty, and our local dinar is exposed to rapid inflation all of a sudden (stealing us much of our savings and reducing our already low individual economic power), our state tells us that we are doing just fine. For same minimum wage I make, could eat for the first 10 days of the month, now for the first week. But i am told i am doing fine, untouched by global crises.

halo, halo? have i heard you well?

halo, halo? have i heard you well?

If i were an official, i would try to at least bring in some sence of humour in this dark reality. I would say: well, we cannot join any world trend, we are unwanted, way too guilty to be accepted by the worlds´ trends and streams, way to stubborn to face our past, we are deeply in denial, we are corrupted and lied too many times to be considered serious partners to Europe or anyone… but, hey, here is a train we have jumped on: global crisis! Citizens, embrace this crisis, for it is the only common thing we can have with the rest of the world. And if we drown, let´s at least use some company for one small part of that journey… because, hm, the rest of the world will find a way out eventually, unlike us. Sure, individually, there will always be Serbian jet set to follow up the latest worlds´ trends, fashion, ways. But this is the unique occasion where all of you can be part of it. So, enjoy the ride, until you drown!

way to heaven, to join the heavenly nation, not touched by crizes - a way out for all! follow this way, come to safety...

way to heaven, to join the heavenly nation, not touched by crizes - a way out for all! follow this way, come to safety...

Hell, no sence of humour. Instead, serious voices telling us we are doing just fine. A week of life in a month is just fine. The rest, i better not think about.

heaven - always there for me, coming from the serb soil, after the previous stairway to it...

heaven - always there for me, coming from the serb soil, after the previous stairway to it...

Will free time be my first topic for my radio show, or global crizes that doesn´t touch us? Something to think about, for me, as I look at selfcontempt politicians in power, being friendly to one an other, shaking friends, signing documents to prove their friendships, enjoying cocktail parties, talking big stories. Well taken care by the loyal voters, who believe to be led into a brighter future, brighter then the world in crisis, because finally all sides are united into one, national front.

national front is at all times ready do defend its interests with modern weaponry, given the good wariors tradition and stable economy

national front is at all times ready do defend its interests with modern weaponry, given the good wariors tradition and stable economy

I don´t want out of my skin. I am too curious to see the sequel, you know. I will be this shameful voice of a traitor who tells bad things about a heavenly nation and a united government defending national interests. I will, shamefully to my country, pay respects to all independent countries that managed their way out from Serbian imperialistic dream. (Too bad they now have to suffer economic crisis; if they listened to Serbia, they could have stayed slaves, but not experience crisis and live in wealth, like we do).

the door out of ordinary to the privileged, really untouched by any crizes

the door out of ordinary to the privileged, really untouched by any crizes

Seriously, did you hear that Serbian officials and authorities claim that crizes will not touch us? I really wanted to share a helariously funny joke with my readers:))))

photo of me, taken by one of my pupils/students, so that i do salute you properly

photo of me, taken by one of my pupils/students, so that i do salute you properly

I salute you from the economically safe and sound soil!

Photos by: Jelena Markovic

Last photo by: Saban Jasar

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NOVI RADIO BEOGRAD

As I informed in my last post, I got a weekly radio show to run!

Big thing for me! I use this blog to write about my society from different aspects i take part in, and i wonder what efect it has… It makes me happy to see that even a small number of people read my posts, but mainly people I would chose myself to communicate with.

For some time I was absent, partially for safety reasons, partialy for filming a feature fiction film… and I lost a lot of readers. I hope to winn them back.

I wish to say that even when I don´t write about political events, i write politically. I try to give you an immage of how things work over here. Sure political events, changes or not changes, are behind it all. Even behind working with orphans. I am not bitter that somebody is rich and can do whatever he or she desires, and be presented as a noble soul. I am angry that much more severe “standard procedures” are practiced on me and my work. I am angry that I live in an unjust society, where privedges are bought in money, and through political connections. I am angry that parties in power treat the state and all its institutions as their private property! And whatever i do as artist or activist, i do to ecourage the disprivedged and to oppose corruption. To oppose the fetish of war crimes and criminals that is in all ways glorified by the rich, powerful and authorities.

That is why i am happy to have gotten my radio show! Again, under my own name, I will publicly challenge all the misty business of the elite. It is going to affect them more than my blog, more then poor number of interviews i give on occasion of my non-stop work in art, culture and political engagement.

My show is called “Stigma”. My first topic will be “free time”. I see free time as time to be used activelly, for us who work in culture. Conversations I have I count as important media: I am not given access to manz more media, so i use conversation to pass on my opinion. Surely that stigmatizes me. But I o what I can. So, this time shortly. Please, think about it a little. Soon i will post a list of questions for my readers, and let me know if you would answer them for my show. Live, or in written. I wish to bring in the world into a local radio, eventhough the radio is on internet and can be heard everywhere, it is mainly listened to here, locally, due to program in Serbian.

I struggle to get my film into editing process. I want to show that I may be unwanted here, but that I am from here and that right cannot be taken away from me, no matter how difrently I think about recent and distant history to the majority. Shortly, they want to prove I do not belog here, and I claim i do as much as them. I am a Balkan person, Serbian citizen. The rest have to take it: I am not going anywhere, and am using all means accessible to prove my existence. Life is a battle, in all languages, in all media!

To the more just society in Serbia, to comprehension that history happened and has to be faced! I have mz radio show, wow! Sundays at 22h, NOVI RADIO BEOGRAD, program uzivo, Stigma!

Photos coming soon onto this post…

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Late, again i am, if we look at my own reply to Owen’s comment, promissing a new post days ago…

i had many doors to unlock, many cigarettes to smoke, and many phone conversations to handle...

i had many doors to unlock, many cigarettes to smoke, and many phone conversations to handle...

there are certainly many things making it hard for me to get online, or even to type on a computer: not only that i have no internet access at home, but i don’t even have a computer:) that sure is humorous at this day and age! i just never was able to grab enough to have those, by not grabbing more then enough to survivie. so i count that having a blog and running it, even the way i do, is a success.

i like to find pieces of modern immages in my life reduced technologicaly to old ways...

i like to find pieces of modern images in my life reduced technologicaly to old ways...

I saw a couple days ago one article in daily Politika. It was about a young woman, an artist, who is about to start her humanitarian project for the orphans. the article first informed us on origins of a young artist: a respectfull rich family. then it informed us that the artist has lived abroad all her life, appart from one of her 26 years of life, that she spent in Belgrade. So, my mother read it too and took it to my place to talk about it over a cofe.

mom was drinking...

mom was drinking...

“what you do is nothing, because papers don’t write about it. your art is nothing, because it is not presented to the rich and famous worldwide. you have no values, otherwise big companies and big funds would support you too, like they support her. see, what she makes, is, what you make, is not. that is how it goes. and don’t give me your stupid story about idea, puprose, meaning, use of project. so what if you get your children to be strong individuals? so what if you teach them to articulate themselves? so what if they get courage to be active in society instead of sitting on the margine waiting for help to come or life to happen? so what if they all learn about film, drama and theatre? so what if you help the children from one orphan house to make their own films or other art forms? you are zero. papers don’t write about you. this girl is everything, papers wrote about her. she doesn’t have to do one single bit for the children, she can make a few pieces on her own, in one day, and present the result. she will justufy the immage of a humanitarian engaged artist, she is a godess. what she will manage in a month, you will not do in a whole year.”

i was having...

i was having...

From one stand point, my mom is right. truth is what is told to public in papers or on TV. my work is not visible, again. but something deep inside me doesn’t want me to become that young successfull girl, who lived around the world due to her rich family, who payed a fortune to study art, who pays a fortune for each exibition worldwide, even rent to galeries… who probably pays for awards she winns… she claims she is obliged to give something to the community, since one bank has given her a lot of money to make her last exibition, so she gives workshops to little orphans…

am i this plane? is this concrete piece our solid culture?

am i this plane? is this concrete piece our solid culture?

I cannot do that. Nobody gives me money for my art, so i’m not obliged. what obliges me is my knowledge that society is not just, that orphans are disprivileged in many ways. so i spent a year researching and writing interactive educative program for them, on film and drama. then i applied to many contests, public ones. only one, i won. the smallest of all. even that small fund decided that i was not allowed to winn the contest, but the center of orphan houses. further on, the center was to decide on distribution of project money. sure, my program and method had to be evaluated by all competent officials, ministry for social care, as well as important art institutions. only with highest recomandations, i was allowed to work: i was made a partner to the center for orphans, who got to be the carrier of the whole project. so, i did everything, invested my rare combination of education, knowledge and experience, created a program, i still coordinate ateliers or workshops, educate children but also support them to become selfconfident, help them bring out their own creations… i run all aspects of project. i am author of the project and the one carryng it out on my own back. money went to the institution that assigned me the minimum wage. minimum for the author, coordinator of workshops/ateliers, for previous research and for writing precise project goals and program of alternative education (interactive, full of dynamic games and conversation)…

our first workshop, they talked to one another, and to me... we were getting to know what we expect...

our first workshop, they talked to one another, and to me... we were getting to know what we expect...

children interested in my offer have changed – hope walked into their lives. they call me, asking for my extra time, and i am always here for them. One girl told me that with me she learned that her life hasn’t stopped when she came to the orphan house, as she had believed, and that she can live again, creating with my support. one boy told me he has never met a normal adult person who doesn’t order him around, but listens to his words and ideas. many ask if their work can be presented outside of the orphanage… that i don’t know, you see. because i am not rich, to pay promotion for this project. the other girl is already talking about the project that she hasn’t started yet, and it is clear that that project is hers, and will be publically presented. not my case. it is forbiden to me to present childrens’ work without special procedures. sure, certain persons from the center for orphans already told me that they are sick of children being abused for promotion of outsiders like me, and that i forget about showing childrens’ work around… too bad, because if i was to show it, it would be to support and promote children. sadly, only if i were a little rich bitch, there would be a guarantee of showing project results as my personal glory (no child abuse there, only letting the rich justify their wealth… what do children and i have to justify? nothing! we better keep silent, unheard, invisible… maybe some day, some other rich person with well payed degrees and elite galeries will come to use us, give us some crunchies as charity, put us in a cage and show us to the world, proving their noble harts and love for art, as well as talent. until then, hush, hush!)

my children take me all the way to the moon and back, while the rich safelly distribute funds for art projects behind their bright windows

my children take me all the way to the moon and back, while the rich safelly distribute funds for art projects behind their bright windows

so, i wonder… is my mom right? do i really do not exist? is it true that in fact i did nothing, because no papers or TV chanels talk about me? and what is important here? that children get support, skills, space to be creative, or promotion of us, who bring them occasions to advance..? i think children matter firstly. secondly, it’s not shame to say who worked to support them. in the case of the girl, i think children will get a little seduced by this godess who will march in and out, leaving them behind to dream about priviledges they will never have, hoping they will get to see her again, praying that she remembers their faces, as her own face keeps occuring in all (worldwide) media, payed and afforded by her rich family. in my case, i will run arround begging for any public review or show of the work accomplished by orphans, but i will be rejected, because there is no rich family to prove its noble intentions by such action. and children and i don’t really matter.

the children do matter to me, above all! and you know, i know they learned to care about what i can give them!

the children do matter to me, above all! and you know, i know they learned to care about what i can give them!

so, who matters? the rich. they made it before they even started. children and i can work all we can, we do not matter.

again, they matter to me!

again, they matter to me!

but, i know something: children i work with learn important things. they learn to keep their attention on new unknown things, they learn to shape their thoughts so that they keep other people’s attention – they learn to communicate! sure, some will learn to act, some to take photos, some to work with camera, some to set lights, some to design costumes or stage, some to record sound, some to direct films, some to direct plays… but that is not the main thing. communication and daring to speak out, daring to ask to be heard, daring to express opinion and capturing attention of others- that is the main common problem of prphans in Serbia, so that was my goal, and that my children are overcoming. Sure, i made my research before i wrote a program for them. then, i used my profession and combined it with experiences, courses, trainings i gained in activism /part of alternative education/, then i went through all dynamic games and modified them for the young age; only then i put up a serious program to work by and to fulfill… it took one year of my time.

during that year, i captured this moment, very precious to me, because it reminds me on how many things i am able to push and pull all alone at the same time

during that year, i captured this moment, very precious to me, because it reminds me on how many things i am able to push and pull all alone at the same time

the rest you know: project valued highly by all most important and competent institutions and individuals, money asigned to the center for orphans to distribute, not to me… i got asigned a small salary for five months (by small i mean minimum wage or less… less, i think, for it is not a salary, but it’s called a honnorarium, so it can be smaller then the minimun wage… on the news, 2 days ago, they announced the avarage salary in Serbia, and to me it sounded like a fortune i couldn’t dream of… so i guess my monthly honorarium is smaller then the serbian minimum wage!)

still, children matter. When we go, it will be up to them to think and act, to lead and bring this society where we never did. because we were too busy confirming tributes to the privileged, and keeping the poor silent. oops! me and my children do not quite fit into this blessed division of power and influence! god forbid, i dare speaking out, and so do my scholars! and this damn  internet – even i, who don’t have it in my house, get online and spread a word or two… while my kids write scripts, make films, act… sure, our project humiliates me if we let my work be valued in money, but we don’t: we value it in strength it gives to children, in success to turn screaming little monsters into young humans who have attention for things and keep others’ attention on what they shape as ideas…

he would amaise you with his talants!

he would amaise you with his talants!

i came to the orphanage where i was told, no child will keep its interest in my excellent program for more then a week. that was in september. i went on, because i had already worked to prepare and win minimum conditions for the project for over a year! now i have children who are my colleagues! but we are not good enough to be in the press. my parents are not a respectful rich family, i haven’t had a happy rich life all around the globe, neither did my scholars. the small fund that supports this program ordered that we were not assigned means to rent any technical equipment, because it is expensive. immagine, film workshops without equipment!

i needed to bring in some light...

i needed to bring in some light...

so, i had a long battle with my state, to raise a credit from a fund for development, as a start up credit, to open a job to myself. after 18 months of them rejecting me for lack of documents, i managed to prove them talking crap each time and won my credit, and thus i bought HDV camera and other equipment for professional shootings. i used it to shoot my film, “the State”.  now i bring that same camera to work with my children. i know that all my colleagues think i am crazy and that kids should never get opportunity to work on HDV, not orphans! HDV, in common opinion, might be allowed to the rich children, but not orphans. haha! my orphans and i work on HDV; state never helped us, not even me with a credit, because they will be payed back with interest. so i use my camera, and my scholars too. i make up to my kids for everything that i put in the project, and that the fund didn’t want to cover: basically everything that costs a lot to rent. we still don’t have a computer to eddit on, because i don’t have one for my film. but what i get for my film, i will get for theirs. And papers will not write about me, a self supported artist who doesn’t compromise nor sell out for cheep political ideas, whose parents cannot buy me glory and good image. but i will deliver my scholars what they deserve, and they will come out stronger. also, they will know that a text in a newspaper doesn’t make them who they are, but their own acts and opinions. they already know that newspaper lie and manipulate, which i never told them. actually, i told them: hey, not necessarely! you have to always doublecheck every information!

together with kids, i did bring in light

together with kids, i did bring in light

i am proud of my kids. my hart feels warm, when i see that they are proud of me, and trust me, even though we are not a newspaper topic.

light seams to be coming and going anyways on its own...

light seams to be coming and going anyways on its own...

I asked my mom if she realized which info opened the text she brought me: she didn’t remember that it was info on pwerfull rich family. I asked about second: she didn’t know it was about belonging to the world jet set and living all around the globe. My mother only said: don’t you think you could look for that girl and learn from her how to get awarded really enormous amounts of money for art projects, like she was awarded by one bank. Let me tell you, I applied with this project for children without parent care, and many others, on many many places, and some places were banks. the most i ever got from banks was letter of rejection, if anything at all. And i know how to write projects, that is not a problem.

and i love glorious ways of sun letting us know there will always be light, even when it sets to sleep...

and i love glorious ways of sun letting us know there will always be light, even when it sets to sleep...

draw your own conclusions. i am not bitter. i am angry that small is the number of individuals daring to think and judge by thinking over information, while most people go safe, ass licking to the rich and rejecting the poor (unless abusing the poor to prove the noble deeds of the rich, but that is the poor “for one use only”  which then are to be thrown away).

solid housing

solid housing

i do as much as i can. i have this blog. i shot another film, and i will finish it, even though i have no computer. i will find a way to show my films, both of most recent fils, even though i am not well connected with the film festivals or distributers. i work with orphans, i will do all in my power to support them. i will fight for a small computer to edit their films, it’s easier then to cut my own which is big. and i will make it! i will give another exibition of colage, my trouble is framing them, i haven’t been able to pay my bills because i was framing collage for exibition and also photographs… but that is honestly me: art, message and excibition above telephone or electricity! and i keep writing poetry, my conceptual work is fully developed, poems written, i need to publish… it’s not just a book of poetry, it’s a conceptual piece. my scripts… other camera work… i am a monster, i am. i give my scholars freedom to create, i give them all i can that project doesn’t want to pay for… there will be more free minds this way, and we will not just vanish, nor transform into empty newspaper stories!

free to see a sea where there is none

free to see a sea where there is none

and big news: for those who read my blog and speak serbian, i got my own radio show! it is internet radion, google it: NOVI RADIO BEOGRAD is a home page, and PROGRAM UZIVO means live program. i will start on sunday evening. every sunday evening at 10h, it’s my show, for three hours. So i will get to do live on radio what i do here in written!

anais and sandra, helping me

anais and sandra, helping me

I will put on this blog ideas and topics for my radio show some 3 days ahead, and please, if you have comments, write them. if anyone wishes to be guest in my show, let me know too, since i can use skype for live interviews on radio!

well, it is not the biggest daily magazine, but the smallest internet radio station, but i am getting my sphere of influence, i am!

maybe people behind this window will listen to me sunday evenings, nights...

maybe people behind this window will listen to me sunday evenings, nights...

victory, isn’t it, for somebody pushed to the margine, who yet never stops yelling: not gonna stay here, yo! i’ll make another system, not gonna stay on your stupid margine, hey! i’m coming, beware!

squated behind cement, garbage and old waist, maybe i did manage to find the best view out,, right this time

squated behind cement, garbage and old waist, maybe i did manage to find the best view out,, right this time

Photos by: Jelena Markovic

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